Pat

Actually i suppose I have nothhing to say. But I do have a new game: Dungeon Siege II. Bloody but nice.

Pat's newbie Advice to play Kult: Heretic Kingdoms (no real spoilers):

I’m a Newbie to Heretic Kingdons, but Newbies can give good advice - to other Newbies. No spoilers here (I hope), I just want to give tips on how to play. These will be pretty random. More experienced players, if you’re reading? Please comment on where I’m wrong or add more of interest.

Mini-map: It’s really confusing in Arathen but keep trying that mini-map! Works really well elsewhere. Even shows you which tents you can enter. Mini-map also shows you NPCs and monsters too far away to appear onscreen yet.

Quick Slots: I put my healing pouch and best weapons in numbered slots near that D key: 3,4,5. So I easily use my left hand to heal and change weaps during a fight and go in/out of Dreamworld.

"Focuses" are weapons that you can use close up, but also do some damage at a distance. You don't need "Ranged" skill to use them at a distance.

When you’re not sure what to do next, a great thing to try: go talk to that last important NPC again. You may have triggered another alternative in its dialog.

Hexmarks and Essence: Make sure you know what they’re for, you can miss them reading your documentation too fast. When I’ve cleared an area, I research carefully for more hexmarks. Your avatar will throw her hands up when you stand accurately on a hexmark and then it’ll disappear. Also consider going into a region where you’re not strong enough to fight, just to find a few hexmarks and run.

Scroll: Use your mouse scroll wheel. (But you say you don’t have a mouse scroll wheel: buy another mouse!) Every time you enter a region, your view field is less than maximum. You can scroll down to enlarge what you see AND what your mini-map sees.

F5 quick save: I reserve F5 for special uses. First, I’ve hit a bug where saving fails and Kult crashes. Have to restart and last save’s no good. When that happens, suppose I’ve been using mostly quicksave F5; I have to go way back. Second, when you save with ESC-save, you may THINK Kult’s saving but you may be wrong. When your game thinks you’re in combat mode (maybe because a monster’s just offscreen) you’ll get no save and no warning message. But you can ESC-save and THEN F5-save. Your screen will not dim on F5 when you’re combatting, and you’ll know your ESC-save didn’t take either.

Losing a bag: I am not sure, but I think you can make a full bag entirely disappear by left-clicking on that bag in your inventory and then pressing ESC. Don’t!

Melee: Tiger’s Eye (at forums) says for melee, to whack efficiently, you get close to opponent, then hold down right mouse button on enemy, hits very fast. But keep an eye on opponent, when he moves away or dies, got to move mouse to another target.

Clearing an Area: After I play a few times and I know what I am doing, I might want to try to win really fast, exploring minimally. But I am on my first game and don’t want to miss anything, so: I carefully clear each area in both real and Dream world. Now you could be too weak to clear an area. (I had to just run through Lost Canyons to find War Camp, couldn’t fight at all.) But then you can go back later do your clearing. You’ll find in some places you can fight better in real OR Dreamworld; or even do best by switching back and forth. But I feel you want to find everything of value, and you do that by hacking and slashing and then finally exploring all.

Combat has skill! Combat appears real simple but I suspect there are many clever moves to learn nonetheless. (Anyone want to post an item on combat skill spoilers? I’d love to read that.)

Arrows: Don’t go looking for arrows. When you equip a bow, a full quiver will appear on your avatar. When you use bows, you may wnt to improve your "Ranged" skill. No penalty for using a bow right next to your opponent.

So once again I'm squeezing in time all over the clock to play my newest CFRPG, Kult. jon looked over my shoulder - he didn't say I'm stealing time from my job - but he did say "All that blood, not in front of my children." So I play accordingly. I think I'll even post some newby faq stuff.

Heretic Kingdoms. Trying out their demo. I am feeling lost in this new world, don't know whether it'll be worth my effort or not.

Off to the forum!

Leth-ar-gee! It's creeping all O-ver me!
There goes my left brain ...
Right down the swift drain ...

Oh, and etc.

Stupid Blog, so you reproach me.
Sitting there.
I can't write poetry.
Either.

I'm mourning my lack of cfrpg games, bored by Arcanum, bored by Morrowind. Using my computer any other way I heard a radio program today, live performance of Brahms' 1st pno conc.

Poor Glenn Gould, his instincts so wonderful in Bach just desert him when he plays Brahms or Hindy. He had ideas about how to play that concerto, very original, just DID NOT WORK.

Poor Lenny B comes onstage and TALKS before this concerto, practically says don't listen, not MY fault! But I think he should have tried harder to match GG's style. Orchestra going through the motions, probably every player thinking if GG didn't play so slowly I could go home sooner. At least Lenny could have made his orchestra PHRASE like GG, they could not have been more bumpily different.

Les Schwartzes took pity and gave me today off. Terrible wind, terrible rain, I'm not going for a walk. Just lolling away inside my room. I'm thinking, maybe I should get more serious about cooking.

I would like to cuddle up with you little blog, but you seem to have nothing to say!

Hello blog, are you okay? Don't feel dissed, I actually want to talk to you. Soon maybe.
Love,
Pat

Yodi do dido...
Michael said a thing SO cute last night.

Blogger's block. That's what I apparently have. I have Blogger's block. I want to unblock...
quick brown fox.
quick brown foxx.
quick brown foxxx.
I'll try more again soon I guess.

Not blogging again today. Hell with blogging. Hell with blogging. Hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell hell with you know what.

Don't Wanna Blog. Don't Wanna Blog.
Don't Wanna Blog. Don't Wanna Blog. Don't Wanna Blog. Don't Wanna Blog.
Don't Wanna Blog. Don't Wanna Blog. Don't Wanna Blog. Don't Wanna Blog. Don't Wanna Blog. Don't Wanna Blog. Don't Wanna Blog.
Won't blog Won't blog Won't blog Won't blog Won't blob Won't blog Won't blog Won't blog Won't blog Won blog Won't blog Won't blog.

I’m not playing it. I’m not playing it! I got sick of going to another stupid NPC and “persuading” them to do another idiot thing. I’m doing other things. I’m actually doing other things! OTHER things! Steph and Michael love it. They even limit their fights to about one a day.

Talking Morrowind again! Screw real life this week.
Eventually I’m sure I’ll join the “SIR” crowd and play strict RPG Morrowind, but I’m thinking a truly inside-out character. The basic idea is: You set up a character with initial skills good enough to survive, but you plan in the long run to use MOSTLY some miscellaneous skills. Assuming you can get money, play little tricks on Morrowind software, or cast cantrips over and over you, can “cheese” some miscellaneous skills as fast as you want without having to level up much. So each time you get a new experience level, you make a 5 point increase in three cheesed stats. Then you do your basic cheesing for your next level. Then you go out and have adventuring fun, and you don’t care what increases you get in major/minors before you level up.

A simple example: You plan to be a Marksman, so you make that a misc skill, and you take Short Blade as major so you can fight that way until you build up Marksman enough (and find some arrows).

Ideally you still want a lot of synergy between your highest stats and all skills you use, so there’s a real challenge to planning an inside-out character. Do you do it?
Muthsera. Or (inside out) hsteurma.

I’m working. I’m really doing my job by those kids and their parents are happy. Michael and Stephanie know I’m totally addicted to Morrowind right now but they’re not jealous or worried because I really spend time with them, and I’m “there” when I’m with them, not thinking Morrowind with most of my mind. They pity me. I can see that. They are kind. It’s tough to be pitied by a 9 and 10 year old kid.

So: I went to a bar.
One does not live for bread alone, and taking care of other people’s children is ceertainly not everything, so Saturday night I went to a bar. I nursed a pretty good bourbon and looked around. There were younger singles and middle-aged guys mostly in packs. Not appealing. After a while some older guy actually sat down next to me, maybe twenty years ahead of me in that race cradle to grave, and asked “what are you drinking?” “Bourbon.” “let me order you another.” “But I haven’t fininshed this one yet.” “well I’m sure you will.”
He had great smiles a nice voice so I let him order me two more bourbons. He asked the bartender, a tough loooking older woman named Jenny, for pretty $$$ bourbons. I was about halfway through the third one and really feeling them. “Drink up!” he said. “I don’t think so.” “Hey, let’s go back to my place,” he said. “I’m going back to my place,” I replied. “ “Okay let’s go back to your place.” “No,” I said, “We’re going to different places.”
So suddenly he got really nasty. He got an angry look and said “You Whore” to me. In a soft but clear voice I felt like he slapped me I was embarrassed if anyone would hear. I just looked down and try to ignore him. “YOU WHORE” he said and I guess he must have slammed his glass down for emphasis, glass fragments flew everywhere. The bartender moved in quickly, saying “OUT, Andy!” And I don’t think he expected the glass to break, he was already slithering out of there.
I had a cut on my left arm from the glass (wearing a shortsleeve pink blouse) and I reached across to rub it with my right hand – stupid –I got another cut on my right arm dragging across glass on the bar in front of me. Somebody produced bandaids and I rushed off to the ladies’ to clean up.
A guy stepped in front of me as I moved off, more my age. Dressed really nice, short with wavy hair and nice brown eyes. He asked me if I was okay. His name’s Stuart and he now has my phone number.

I got many interesting comments from my comparison of Arcanum and Morrowind (which you can find easy right here at http://patroseinblume.blogspot.com/ . Several people said, like, “In Morrowind, characters start out very different, but as you get to higher levels they become the same. In Arcanum, characters start out fairly similar, but as they get to higher levels they get extremely different.” (And that part about Arcanum is true, you have to make big choices about what each PC can and can’t do.) In Morrowind, by level 25 you’ve maybe added 350 points to your basic 8 stats and learned/trained most of the skills, you’re a Tank that can kill/steal/magic everything. (Of course you’ve got lots of different ways to GET there in Morrowind’s wide world.)

Now I wonder whether a little role-playing self-control makes Morrowind more interesting. I bet a lot of you do it already, you can comment. In my first game of Morrowind I’m going to BUILD A TANK! But to have replay fun, I’d like to try to restrict myself to building up maybe half of the 8 stats, and only about 10 skills (maybe even, heaven forbid, my major and minor ones!) AND I’ll try to SSTAY AWAY from magic items using skills I’m not learning. I think a lopsided PC would be interesting, and you can make lots of different ones in Morrowind. Only there’s a lot of temptation to resist. Imagine a mage using only two kinds of magic. Could you bear that, knowing all the good magic you’d be missing?

Arcanum and Morrowind are two great games. This is a “gee-wizz enjoy their diffs” comparison. By Pat RoseInBlume. Copyright 2004, all rights pretty much reserved.

A few months ago there was a thread at an Arcanum (A) forum comparing that game with Morrowind (M). Now that I’ve played both games I must say that those comments just scratched a surface. I’ve prepared a long comparison you can enjoy below. I’m experienced at A and a newby at M, so I’m sure I would revise my comparison after awhile. I think these are both simply GREAT games and one can have a wonderful time in both. So I’m not making comparisons to help you decide which is better. I just think it’s fascinating how they differ. Just check this out:

In A, when your game begins, an ineffectual guy asks for your ring. You shouldn’t give it to him!
In M, when your game begins,an ineffectual guy asks for your ring. You should give it to him!
Character:

In A you can start really playing sooner; M has a slow prologue you have to go through every time. M may have a broader set of character choices. A has more extremely differing types of character.

Persuasion is (I think) a minor component of M. In A it is a skill that can profoundly affect your game, and you can play A using persuasion as your primary skill (doing little combat, magic or thievery).

In both games different races and different sexes have different base stats and special abilities. I think variations in M are more extreme than in A, where they are varied but subtle.

In A you can adventure solo, but most characters have a party with NPC followers who take some orders and fight (rather indepnednantly) for you. Building a party creates great variety in A. You can make effective parties with similar, or balancing abilities. If your character is a good persuader, you may have a large party, maybe six or more followers. (Some mages use mind control, and a game hack, for maybe 20 followers.) Followers gain levels and skills along with you, even learning how to make things or cast more spells. As a newby in M, I only have temporary followers when I cast a spell to create one for a current fight. If you like the idea of an adventuring party, check out A.

M lets you choose your character from one of many preconstructed professions. (In fact you choose any race and sex, plus any profession.) You can make explicit choices, or answer a bunch of questions posed by M to guess what sort of character you’d like to play. Overwhelmingly, advice on the web is to ignore these and customize your own character from scratch. A offers a bunch of carefully prebuilt, named PCs you can play. (If you choose one, it comes with a specific race, sex and background.) I’ve played a few of these and they are fun, but overwhelmingly, web advice is to ignore these and customize your own character from scratch.

GRAPHICS:
A has a graphics engine that is actually 2D with 3D shading. you can interact with it quickly. M gives an impression of being in a true 3D world. Many PCs can’t handle its graphics demands, and I think it plays slower overall. But M’s imagery is wonderfully real and a pleasure to wallow in.
M uses its 3D graphics engine to give its monsters a lot of variety. Monster variety in A is more cartoonish but incredibly witty; there’s a lot of variety in fighting A’s monsters.

M uses its game engine (and audio) for some awesome effects. E.g., it rains a lot in the world of M, quite realistically.

GAME CONTROL:


A has tons of keyboard shortcuts, a big timesaver since you can hit keys faster than you can move a mouse. M seems to have few shortcuts? You have to mouse a lot.

MISC:

It took me a week to get A running on my PC. I had to upgrade video driver (hard to find) and directX to make it play. When you’re trying to get started, A’s common crash/hang involves not quite starting up and not saying why. a PAIN! But it took me over two weeks to get M to run (afterwards) on my SAME PC! M forums use a tla, “CTD” a lot (A’s forums do not have an acronym for Crash to Desktop). M forums have far more advice on how to make your game work; you need it!


A’s world is quite extensive, and you may easily not adventure into all of it each game. M’s world is unbelievably deep (over 3,000 NPCs for example, and over 300,000 hand-placed items), and I think you might get around to most of what it offers after ten or twenty games.

Most NPCs have some audio in M, but there is a lot of repetition. Relatively few NPCs have audio in A, but they have a lot of it (with very different voices), and due to well-developed conversations in A, most of them have a lot of character.


I know A much better than M, but it seems to me you can play a game of A much faster. My first game of A took about 100 hours, later games as few as maybe 25 hours. I imagine that experienced players who go through its main quest can play M fairly fast, but with any wanderlust I expect a game of M to be long, long, long.

Both games keep track of time and calendar date for you, but I think neither game requires you to do a specific event by a specific date.

In A, technology and magic are antithetical; you get good at one can barely do the other. Or you balance a tricky line and do both. Techy PCs are not welcome in magic shops. Powerful wizards are not allowed on trains (train engines won’t work near strong magic). This GREAT contrast has no parallel in M.

In A, you use ingredients to make techy things (guns, bombs, traps, potions…). In M, you use alchemy to make potions.

In A you buy a cheap keyring, and all keys you need go on that ring. They do not clutter your inventory, and your journal tells you which keys you have. And you use some keys many times in during a game. It’s a “file and forget” system. In M there’s no keyring, but apparently keys are needed tmeporarily and then you can chuck them or sell them.

M provides great variety in that you can enchant objects in many ways, and you can invent your own spells. A has no similar ability, but A forces a mage to specialize in a few of 20 spell disciplines (Techies must specialize too), and the synergies of these combinations provide similar a similarly inventive feeling.

I’ve already done quite a bit of wilderness walking in M, and I think it has amazing variety, with a lot of interesting wilderness areas. A has many locales that are carefully handcrafted, but wilderness areas just follow a set of computer-derived types. A’s wilderness areas are fun to look at, but one spends as little time walking through them as possible.

A’s world is clearly mapped. You can use FAQs to know almost exactly where everything is. I have not seen clear maps of M, neither its wilderness paths nor its cities, nor its regional divisions. Both games come with a colored map. A’s map has little info; M’s map is in some ways more useful than other maps online.

Both games have schools of magic. A has 20, and you pretty much HAVE to pick just a few in each game. M has fewer schools and I believe it’s easier to mix knowledge of spells among schools.

Names of people and places in A are ridiculously varied (a haphazard microcosm of part of our real world). I found all of these easy to remember. M uses an NPC naming scheme that is (in my opinion) clunky, and NPC names are harder to remember. One manages though.

Both games have journals in which you can track what you’ve done and what you have to do. A’s journal seems to be much more comprehensive and more useful. It even tracks what blessing you’ve gotten, what serious wounds you might need to cure. M’s journal carries less information and is less comprehensive about what you’ve learned. (E.g. I was told to go someplace out of town to do a side quest. Instructions on how to get to this mine, something like “go south to a suspension bridge, cross river, turn north at the sign post and follow a dirt track, turn right at a sign to X, then turn a pump handle to open a door” were NOT recorded in the journal; I had to write them down on paper.)

In A once you’ve learned what a building is you can have your map remember it. In M you can add freeform notes about any location on its map. (You can but I can’t, on my PC this feature in M does not work.)

In both games you can see a whole world map or a local map. (You can but I can’t, on MY PC this feature in M does not work.)

Both games offer slow and fast travel among locations, in a variety of ways.

M has a complex system of determining that certain actions are crimes, and you pay for your crimes in one of several ways. In A, a whole city turns against you after you kill some number of its cits. Both games reward you for dirty deeds in secret and punish for dirty deeds in public.

A has an incredibly neat feature (not found in M I think) called FATE points. you spend a fate point to make the next action of some kind be perfect. You can use a fate point to pick a pocket (even if you lack any skill), strike a critical blow, cast a spell flawlesly, etc. Fate points are rare.

Both games provide you with tons of stuff you might want to carry around or store, and you will find it nuisance to deal with much stuff. (One delightful modded version of A, “Car Arcanum” provides an easily accessible central storeroom).

Both games have user-created mods. It sounds to me like their “plugin” method of M makes it relatively easy to mix many mods. There are far more M mods than A mods.

There seem to be far more (and more active) web sites for M than A. It’s possible that more people are playing M.

In M, complexity of making things (alchemy) resides in useful recipes often having multiple ingredients. In A, everything a tech character makes requires two ingredients, but you often have to make ingredients first (so you might say some things have EIGHT ingredients), and some components may require varying skills to make.

In both games, your equipment degrades and needs repair. You can repair yourself or buy repairs (they are cheaper in A). In my limited experience, having things break from inadequate repair is more of a danger in A.
GAME INTERACTIONS:

A has amazing variety in conversations with NPCs. Who you are and what you’ve done affects what you and any NPC can say with great variety. M has a clunky conversation interface, but it is about on a par with A in hiding important conversation paths until you deserve to find them

NPC’s in A get “character” through their conversations (some have audio). NPCs in M get “character” by how they move, their looks, what they say and how they say it. But far too many of them look like Kevin Spacey.

Combat in A looks simple but is extremely deep and sophisticated. Combat approaches via magic, Technology, firearms and ordinary weapons are beautifully distinguished. Combat in M is obviously very complex, happening in 3D, with great variety in how weapons work. In M’s combat, enemies may run around you, ducking behind you (or jumping above you) to avoid blows, and you can learn to do this too.

A has real-time combat and turn-based combat (you hit; your followers hit; all enemies hit, in turn). M has realtime combat only (but you can pause combat to adjust your inventory, drink potions, prepare spells).

In A it is very common to fight many enemies at once. I’m not sure but single combat seems more common in M.

LEVELING UP AND HACKING:

A gives you a budget of character points to spend that must be used wisely in developing a character. You can almost always get strong enough to win, but there are many ways to misspend points. You build your basic character stats so you can improve your skills. You gain skills explicitly (or by training), not by using them. In M, you gain skills so that you can raise your basic character stats. You build skills by using them, training or reading some of thousands of books you can find. Deciding how to effectively build up a character is quite complex, but it seems that in both games you can either plan ahead to make a character easy to develop, or you can role-play and choose a set of abilities to make your character special. A may get greater variety in role-playing from its techy/Magic opposition. M gets RP variety from factions (who tend to hate each other): you join some factions and do their extensive sorts of quests. (A has one similar small faction thing, two opposing gangs of criminals in a slum, and you can only quest for one gang.)

Both games have lots of hacks making it easy to make your game too easy. Both games are more enjoyable when avoiding most of these hacks. A lot of hacks were closed in A’s last big patch (even more in Car Arcanum), but not nearly all. M actually tries to punish you for leveling up your PC too quickly. In theory, when higher levels cause you to meet more powerful monsters, you’re not ready for them because you leveled up without questing to find better stuff. But this theory obviously does not work; I found lots of web hints like of “Do X; then tape your Y key down, come back in 12 hours and your skill will have increased to 100.”

Both games appear to be rich in clever things you can do to get some advantage, that game inventors probably did not anticipate. That’s what makes good rpg games!

In M, you have to REST to go to up a level, so you can sometimes postpone leveling up to make it more effective. In A, you level at once up when you get enough XP, but if you’re not sure how best to use your newly gained character points you can postpone spending them until you’re ready.

INVENTORY:

I found M’s method of handling inventory incredibly clunky. You can’t even click-drag to move something in or out (or to wear something); you have to carefully click to pick it up and then carefully drop it elsewhere. (I think M does this because there is a different sound for many things when you pick them, so they want a clear action from you to trigger each sound.) Common things you do to move an item in and out of inventory are much quicker in A. Both games make it a bit slow to (un)equip an item. A has its own horrible clunkiness in that your inventory is a rectangular grid – every object has a rectangular size - and you have to make room for each new thing; to add a big suit of armor (maybe 4 x 5 on the grid) you may have to move 10 smaller items by hand first. OY!

In M if your inventory exceeds your max weight you cannot move. There are no size restrictions in M. In A if your inventory exceeds your max weight you can hardly move. Your inventory also has a fixed SIZE (does not increase as your stats increase) and everything you carry has to fit in your quick-action slots or in this rectangle. Managing inventory size is a big part of your game (unless you’re a pure mage or an incredibly powerful fighter).

I have a new toy. Morrowind. Took me ten days to get it to run, just like Arcanum. It is awesomely/dismaayingly different. I managed to play a game far enough to actually save my game. (You can’t do that when you start. Why?) So I’m smiling at these kids itching for my next shot at Morro. ooooooooh….

So the kids got me so embarrassed I stopped picking my skin, except at night in places they can’t see. They’re eating dinner right now. I am so bored. I think I’ll shop for food in a dangerous neighborhood.

Those kids were so nice to me over the weekend! They obviously picked up on my depression. I think they’re scared I’ll go to a loony bin and be replaced.
I actually never get any thanks from those kids. But now I got hugs, “We like you Pat”, all that cudddly fuzzy stuff. On Sunday Michael started to blow up about something and fight with Stephanie. She held her arm up, spayed her palm in front of his face, and he quieted down like it was a signal. They played games with me and made pictures for me to hang on my wall. I have these pics next to my bed but I don’t think their parents would let me stick them on their newly painted walls in my room. But gee.
They were so nice.
I think I’m coming out of it but I’ve got to get a life. Nannying and Arcanum are not enough.

I'm still picking.

I'm still picking. I'm still picking.

I'm still picking. I'm still picking. I'm still picking. I'm still picking. I'm still picking. I'm still picking. I'm still picking. I'm still picking. I'm still picking. I'm still pickingI'mstilllp

Today was a little different. I picked at my skin. Mostly my forearms. They got blotchy. I bled a little but way up my arm where I could cover it with a bandage. Only I didn’t covver it for a while. I let it the blood stain my blouse. I was still picking while I sat with the kids at their supper. Michael started staring. I looked at him puzzled. Steph said “What are you doing to yourself?” Michael pointed to my upper arm: “Is that blood?” I realized I was staring at Michael but picking at the back of my hand. There were little flakes of skin. I pulled myself together. I think.

I’m trying to tell myself something. Now I just have to stop picking and listen.

I haven’t blogged for six days but I have an excuse. I don’t think I’ve done anything. I’ve had a slight out-of-body experience, since I lazy myself around while a little automaton dresses two kids, sends them off to school, neatens up rooms, buys food, watches TV, greets kids, makes dinner, becomes a homework Ogre, puts kids to bed, watches TV, goes to sleep. Wakes up again…


I need motivation. Please give me some of your motivation! I don’t even want Steph and Michael to get interesting right now. Might interfere with my TV.

I looked at my last blog entry. Was two weeks ago. And it reproaches me. I never talked to Michael that time, I just cleaned up his S**t. But oh the good old days long ago: I had a paper diary I forgot to write everything in. That was simpler.

oooooh. OOOOOH! One of my little momentary daily tasks is to neaten up our kiddie’s rooms after they go to school. I think this is a reallly bad idea, just gets them used to having servants and being lazy. But I do as I’m told here. I neaten as little as possible, both Steph and Michael like to be able to find their stuff.
Well this morning.
Michael’s room was trashed. Toys everywhere. Clothes all over. Ripped pieces of paper covering everything. A glass of milk splashed over all his clean shirts, I had to rewash them. He had a small picture low on the wall in a glass frame, which he smashed. I should have noticed that picture was missing, but instead I noticed when its glass bits were cutting me.
I had to decide – do I leave this for evening and make a federal case? Or would Jon and May be on my back for not “neatening” like I’m supposed to.
I neatened.
I’ve got all day to decide what to say to Michael. I guess I ought to find out what bothered him first.

One thing about nannying, you don’t see kids spending much quality time with mom & dad. Since when they do, you’re usually not there. I saw it last night and it choked me up a bitt. May came home around six, rushed through some supper, turned to me and I saw a request for help coming. “I got you magazines!” I said. May turned inward, thinking hard a bit. I handed her a pile of mags and stood there.
“Stephee, what about your report?” asked May.
“Ohhh, my report,” said Stephanie.
“Ohhh your dumn report,” said Michael.
“Mikeee,” whined May. I dragged him off to do his own homework. Each time I wandered through the kitchen, to about ten p.m., I saw May and Stephanie gently bunping heads over mags and papers in Steph’s handwriting. They looked very busy, very much in love.

Steph “reminded” her mother at breakfast that she needs help with a report due tomorrow. Schools don’t ask very much of 9 year olds, but she does have to find things in magazines and will probably need a few hours looking tonight with mom’s help. May was frantic! She had other plans tonight of course and had not heard about Steph’s report before. I watched her almost go ballistic at her sweet little daughter, but she held her anger in and instead whined greatly. “Stephaneee you have to tell me in advance! I need to plan! I’d like to help you! I’d really actually love to help you tonight but.
Now here she looked around for alternatives. Jon is working very hard right now, left for work already, probably won’t be home until Steph’s bedtime, so she looked at me. “Pat could I ask you to buy magazines today and look through them for …” Her voice trailed off. I just looked at her. I don’t know what my look said but I was thinking Stephanie should do her own work and how crazy is it if the parent who decides her kid won’t do her own work decides not to do HER own substitute work. She just said, “Pat, could you buy some magazines? You know what we’ll need tonight?”
Yes I’ll buy some magazines. I’ll fantasize about slipping a beefcake mag into the pile but I won’t do that.

Steph was in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet ( I know this because she had announced why she was going there) and I caught Michael trying to peer around the not-very-closed door. I just took him in my arms, gave him a big warm hug and said “Michael when it’s not your turn in there, you go do something else.” I gave him a pat and sent him off . Sexual curiosity is healthy for him I think, but about his sister? I don’t know how to handle this, I’ll have to Google and see what I can find. There was your Spock generation. There was your Brazelton. Now there’s Google. Here’s an idea for a player background in the game of Arcanum: raised by a search engine.